As I read Paul's epistles there is this battle between grace and works. As a recovering addict, it seems I am always preaching grace. I know I'm alive today because of grace and would be dead if it were totally up to my own works. But in my personal life, the battle continues. While it is good to contemplate upon improvement and the works I can perform better and purging the contemptible from my life, it is also not profitable to beat myself up over those things not yet perfected. It injures my ego to realize my works will never be good enough to make it--at least in mortality.
I get hung up on concepts like my program or my sobriety. And really, I did nothing to merit any of it, rather it comes as a gift of grace from God. And to experience that divine presence and the sweet peace that comes from the Spirit, and that pure love from God, I have to be willing to go out on the field, play the game of life, and then fall down in the mud and muck and get a little dirty. Then I have to return to Him and beg for forgiveness and have faith and hope in His redeeming power to heal and cleanse.
So one of my favorite Pauline epistles is to the Galatians. For a little background, under the Law of Moses there were the "outward performances" (see Alma 25: 15) and the daily reminders. One of the best reminders was what became the prayer shawl, or tallit. The Lord gave a commandment to sew fringes in the borders of the garment as a reminder of the commandments. He said:
"Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue:
"And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the Lord, and do them; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring:
"That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God" (Numbers 15: 38-40).
And as a reminder to do ALL of the commandments, the fringes were tied in a prescribed manner. The Hebrew word for fringes is tzitzit. Now you have to understand that each letter in the Hebrew alphabet has a numeric value. So the numeric value of tzitzit is 600. Each of the fringes contained 8 threads and 5 knots. So you get a nice mathematical equation:
600 + 8 + 5 = 613
And the number 613 happens to equal the number of commandments contained in the Torah (or Law of Moses). By the way, 248 were positive (things you should do) and 365 were negative (things you should not do).
Then I can imagine Jehovah just sitting back and waiting for the results. Do you think He keeps a tally? If you're an ancient Israelite the odds are not with you!
Now in the Book of Mormon, both Lehi and Nephi see concourses of people en route to the tree of life, in hopes to partake of the fruit, which is the love of God. Interestingly, as they approach the tree to partake, there is a strange phenomena. Nephi, in recording the words of his father, says, " . . . And they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree" (1 Nephi 8: 30). As they approached the tree, they fell down. Now I know part of this is to portray the idea of worship, as the tree represents Christ and His love, and also the love of the Father in sending His Only Begotten Son. But the idea of falling down also conveys falling down in the dirt and trying to get back on your feet. Have you ever tried to pick fruit in the prostrate position? If we find ourselves falling down, we must reach upward and take hold of His hand. It is then that we experience the love and grace of God.
Paul explains, "For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law" (Galatians 5: 3). In every Pauline epistle, when you see the word circumcision it refers to one who clings to the Law of Moses and expects salvation to come thereby.
So what is Paul saying? To paraphrase he is saying, "Hey look, if you expect the Law of Moses to save you, then you need to adhere to all 613 commandments perfectly. You are a debtor to 'do the whole law.'" You would have to make a checkoff list of all 248 "thou shalts" and all 365 "thou shalt nots." Then as you retire to bed, go over the whole list and make sure you didn't violate any of the negative commandments or forget to do one of the positive commandments.
Besides the fact that this is a recipe for failure, if we do this, we have left Christ out of our lives, and we don't get to eat of the fruit of the tree of life and experience His love. Paul goes on to say, "Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace" (Galatians 5: 4).
It is by trying to do His will, falling down, getting up again, and reaching upward and outward to Him that we feel of His grace, love, and power. It is then that we feel and come to know the "fruits of the Spirit," which are "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith" (see Galatians 5: 22).
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015
The Truth in Rock and Roll
Almost every Saturday I go for a long walk. I have a traditional four-mile route circling around Springville. Equipped with my iPod, I can take in the beauties of nature while listening to my favorite music. If you know me, I'm a musical fanatic. With over 2,000 songs on my iPod, I put it on shuffle and enjoy whatever comes up. Sometimes I think I get a little help from above with tailor-made messages especially for me!
Last Saturday I began with prayer before my walk. Sometimes I get down on myself and want to cry out like Nephi, "O wretched man that I am!" (2 Nephi 4: 17). Impatience is high on my list of character defects and impatience with self is a major stumbling block. I cried out, "Why do I keep struggling with the same issues?"
Then I put on the headphones and started walking. Almost out of nowhere came a thought of a verse of scripture. The verse goes like this:
"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known" (1 Corinthians 13: 12).
I used to think the word glass meant something like looking through a glass window. But what are we looking at? When I learned of the origin of this word it gave me new insight into what Paul is speaking of. The word glass is translated from the Greek word esoptron, and it actually means "mirror." Here is a link to the original Greek word.
Could Paul be speaking of how we view ourselves? And how does this view affect our perception of others?
There is a related verse speaking of celestial glory. "They who dwell in his presence are the church of the Firstborn; and they see as they are seen, and know as they are known, having received of his fulness and of his grace" (D&C 76: 94). Can you imagine seeing yourself as the Lord sees you?
I thought of another verse: "My name is Jehovah, and I know the end from the beginning; therefore my hand shall be over thee" (Abraham 2: 8). Do you see it? He sees you as the finished, polished, refined product. He sees you as you can and will become.
Before the thought could flee away, a new song started. I listened to the lyrics. You will probably recognize this one:
"There's a hero if you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know will melt away
And then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside 'cause you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you."
Okay, if you're a rock 'n roll purist, you will recognize this isn't a rock 'n roll classic, but rather a sappy ballad, but it has a nice melody and it was good enough to inspire me on Saturday morning.
But the next song was a rock 'n roll classic. I'll let you figure out the songs and artists. It goes like this:
"Deal me up another future
From some brand new deck of cards
Take the chip off of my shoulder
Smooth out all the lines
Take me out among the rustling pines
Till it shines."
Take the chip off my shoulders, let me not feel sorry for myself. Let go and let God. But like Neal A Maxwell once said, "We tremble at the tuition." (For what it takes to be refined . . . 'til it shines.)
I thought of a verse of scripture that goes like this:
"And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness" (Malachi 3: 3).
Jesus watches the silver (you and me) as it's being refined. If it doesn't stay in the fire long enough, it has no strength or character. If is stays in too long, it can be destroyed. He watches until He sees His own reflection in the shiny metal. "Til it shines."
I walked through Brookside and approached Springville High School, my alma mater. The sign says, "Home of the Red Devils." Interestingly, the song I was listening to (on random shuffle) had some lyrics about the devil:
"Do as they tell you to
Don't want the devil to
Come and put out your eyes
And it's always up to you, if you want to be that
Last Saturday I began with prayer before my walk. Sometimes I get down on myself and want to cry out like Nephi, "O wretched man that I am!" (2 Nephi 4: 17). Impatience is high on my list of character defects and impatience with self is a major stumbling block. I cried out, "Why do I keep struggling with the same issues?"
Then I put on the headphones and started walking. Almost out of nowhere came a thought of a verse of scripture. The verse goes like this:
"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known" (1 Corinthians 13: 12).
I used to think the word glass meant something like looking through a glass window. But what are we looking at? When I learned of the origin of this word it gave me new insight into what Paul is speaking of. The word glass is translated from the Greek word esoptron, and it actually means "mirror." Here is a link to the original Greek word.
Could Paul be speaking of how we view ourselves? And how does this view affect our perception of others?
There is a related verse speaking of celestial glory. "They who dwell in his presence are the church of the Firstborn; and they see as they are seen, and know as they are known, having received of his fulness and of his grace" (D&C 76: 94). Can you imagine seeing yourself as the Lord sees you?
I thought of another verse: "My name is Jehovah, and I know the end from the beginning; therefore my hand shall be over thee" (Abraham 2: 8). Do you see it? He sees you as the finished, polished, refined product. He sees you as you can and will become.
Before the thought could flee away, a new song started. I listened to the lyrics. You will probably recognize this one:
"There's a hero if you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid of what you are
There's an answer if you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know will melt away
And then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside 'cause you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you."
Okay, if you're a rock 'n roll purist, you will recognize this isn't a rock 'n roll classic, but rather a sappy ballad, but it has a nice melody and it was good enough to inspire me on Saturday morning.
But the next song was a rock 'n roll classic. I'll let you figure out the songs and artists. It goes like this:
"Deal me up another future
From some brand new deck of cards
Take the chip off of my shoulder
Smooth out all the lines
Take me out among the rustling pines
Till it shines."
Take the chip off my shoulders, let me not feel sorry for myself. Let go and let God. But like Neal A Maxwell once said, "We tremble at the tuition." (For what it takes to be refined . . . 'til it shines.)
I thought of a verse of scripture that goes like this:
"And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness" (Malachi 3: 3).
Jesus watches the silver (you and me) as it's being refined. If it doesn't stay in the fire long enough, it has no strength or character. If is stays in too long, it can be destroyed. He watches until He sees His own reflection in the shiny metal. "Til it shines."
I walked through Brookside and approached Springville High School, my alma mater. The sign says, "Home of the Red Devils." Interestingly, the song I was listening to (on random shuffle) had some lyrics about the devil:
"Do as they tell you to
Don't want the devil to
Come and put out your eyes
And it's always up to you, if you want to be that
Want to see that, want to see it that way"
Then I thought of another verse of scripture: "And the mists of darkness are the temptations of the devil, which blindeth the eyes, and hardeneth the hearts of the children of men, and leadeth them away into broad roads, that they perish and are lost" (1 Nephi 12: 17).
Then I realized who it is, who wants me to see myself obscurely through the mirror.
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Blood, Water, and Spirit Nourish the Tree of Life
The interplay of blood, water, and Spirit in the Gospel of John provides a background for the culmination of the Savior's ministry and His Atonement.
In chapter two, Jesus performs His first recorded miracle, and the Greek word for miracle in John is always semeion. It means a sign, mark, or token to identify who the Lord really is. The first recorded miracle is the changing of water into wine. The water would represent spirit, godliness, and divinity. The wine would represent blood. It becomes a testimony of the mission of the Incarnate Son. It is Jehovah, God of the Old Testament, coming down as Jesus Christ. Or, as John describes in the first chapter, "the Word was made flesh," as Jesus takes upon Himself a mortal body of flesh and blood (see John 1: 14).
In chapter three water and spirit are combined again. Jesus teaches Nicodemus, "Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God" (John 3: 5). Water and spirit here are associated with rebirth. In verse 8, wind is compared to spirit and spiritual rebirth. In fact, the word wind and the word Spirit are both translated from the Greek word pneuma, meaning wind, breath, or spirit. Again, wind and water are both associated with birth and new life.
In chapter four, Jesus meets a woman of Samaria and offers her (and us) "living water" (see John 4: 10). In chapter five He heals an invalid by a pool of water, and the moving of the water echoes the creation scene in Genesis, where "the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters" (Genesis 1: 2).
In the Book of Mormon, Nephi compares the tree of life to living water. Both represent the love of God. Nephi said, "And it came to pass that I beheld that the rod of iron, which my father had seen, was the word of God, which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life; which waters are a representation of the love of God; and I also beheld that the tree of life was a representation of the love of God" (1 Nephi 11: 25).
In the Book of Moses, blood, water, and Spirit come together as symbols of birth and rebirth. After Adam is baptized he is "quickened (or made alive) in the inner man." This demonstrates the relationship between newness of life, eternal life, and covenants. Through the making and keeping of covenants and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ spiritual death and physical death are overcome.
The Lord said, "That by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory;
"For by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified" (Moses 6: 59-60, 65).
In the Gospel of John, the Roman soldiers come to break the legs of the three being crucified. They did this because the next day was the Feast of Unleavened Bread and it was also a Sabbath. Under the Law of Moses, anyone worthy of death by crucifixion should "not remain all night upon the tree." The commandment was that he should be buried that day; "for he that is hanged is accursed of God" and this would defile the land (see Deuteronomy 21: 23). Crucifixion caused death by suffocation, since the head would hang down and the position of the body would put pressure on the diaphragm. The only way to stay alive would be to push with the legs to lift the body into a more upright position. But Jesus was dead already, so the soldiers did not break His legs as they did the other two.
One of the soldiers pierced the side of Jesus with a spear "and forthwith came there out blood and water" (John 19: 34). It is significant that He was pierced in the side. The Greek word for side is pleara, and it's the same word used in the Greek Septuagint translation of "rib" in the Old Testament when the Lord takes a rib from Adam to create new life. Eve's name means life or living. Thus, out of Jesus' side (or rib) comes new life.
As Jesus surrenders His life for us, His Spirit leaves His body. Blood and water also come out of His body. Thus, blood, water, and spirit leave His body to transform a wooden cross--an instrument of death--into a tree of life.
Only through His supreme love can we gain access to that life which is eternal.
In the Book of Moses, blood, water, and Spirit come together as symbols of birth and rebirth. After Adam is baptized he is "quickened (or made alive) in the inner man." This demonstrates the relationship between newness of life, eternal life, and covenants. Through the making and keeping of covenants and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ spiritual death and physical death are overcome.
The Lord said, "That by reason of transgression cometh the fall, which fall bringeth death, and inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water, and blood, and the spirit, which I have made, and so became of dust a living soul, even so ye must be born again into the kingdom of heaven, of water, and of the Spirit, and be cleansed by blood, even the blood of mine Only Begotten; that ye might be sanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life in the world to come, even immortal glory;
"For by the water ye keep the commandment; by the Spirit ye are justified, and by the blood ye are sanctified" (Moses 6: 59-60, 65).
In the Gospel of John, the Roman soldiers come to break the legs of the three being crucified. They did this because the next day was the Feast of Unleavened Bread and it was also a Sabbath. Under the Law of Moses, anyone worthy of death by crucifixion should "not remain all night upon the tree." The commandment was that he should be buried that day; "for he that is hanged is accursed of God" and this would defile the land (see Deuteronomy 21: 23). Crucifixion caused death by suffocation, since the head would hang down and the position of the body would put pressure on the diaphragm. The only way to stay alive would be to push with the legs to lift the body into a more upright position. But Jesus was dead already, so the soldiers did not break His legs as they did the other two.
One of the soldiers pierced the side of Jesus with a spear "and forthwith came there out blood and water" (John 19: 34). It is significant that He was pierced in the side. The Greek word for side is pleara, and it's the same word used in the Greek Septuagint translation of "rib" in the Old Testament when the Lord takes a rib from Adam to create new life. Eve's name means life or living. Thus, out of Jesus' side (or rib) comes new life.
As Jesus surrenders His life for us, His Spirit leaves His body. Blood and water also come out of His body. Thus, blood, water, and spirit leave His body to transform a wooden cross--an instrument of death--into a tree of life.
Only through His supreme love can we gain access to that life which is eternal.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
"In Remembrance of His Grace"
Friday July 31 marked 26 years since my last drink or drug. Today at church we sang a special sacrament hymn, "'Tis Sweet to Sing the Matchless Love." It had profound meaning for me, a recovering alcoholic and addict. Verse three expresses deep personal feeling.
"Oh, blessed hour! communion sweet!
When children, friends, and teachers meet
And, in remembrance of his grace,
Unite in sweetest songs of praise.
For Jesus died on Calvary,
That all thru him might ransomed be.
Then sing hosannas to his name;
Let heav'n and earth his love proclaim" (Hymns, # 177)
How true this is, and how beautiful!
As I reflect on the journey these last 26 years, I know recovery began with my family. The day before my first AA meeting, I sat in a lawn chair in my mom and dad's back patio, there with all my extended family as we celebrated my sister's birthday. I knew academically they all loved me and cared about me, though I created difficult problems for them. They loved and worried. But I could feel nothing. I was numb, beyond much feeling. It was like there was a brick wall around me, and I felt somewhat isolated. Let me make it clear. This was not their fault.
I left the party to drink myself into oblivion, and the next day when I regained consciousness, I had what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls a "moment of clarity." I knew this would not get better--only worse.
That night I found myself at my first AA meeting. As the awful feeling of doom would not go away, I headed for home, only to pass the Alano Club, a place I had passed by on foot two years previously. On a summer morning in 1987 while walking to work, I was interested in the word "club," and mistaking this to be a bar, I ventured inside only to find the door locked. There was just enough early sunlight to read the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Only three words made any sense. In Step One there is the phrase, "powerless over alcohol."
I had done two more years of "research" to prove I wasn't an alcoholic. I could simply quit with willpower. I managed to rack up seven years without a single sober day. And on that night just over 26 years ago, I remembered those three words, "powerless over alcohol," and finally knew I was there. I was totally powerless.
I went to meetings everyday, but still could not stay sober between meetings. After my third Monday Night Beginners' Meeting on July 31, 1989, and after being embarrassed by the the chairperson, who announced her excitement of being able to give me a 30-day chip in two weeks, and knowing I didn't have any sobriety at all, I went home discouraged and on the brink of giving up.
After an hour-long battle with "the father of all lies," (2 Nephi 2: 18) I pleaded with my Heavenly Father for a single sober day, with the plea, "Please help me. I'm beat and can't do it." The peace beyond my ability to understand was just a taste of blessings and miracles that would happen over the next 26 years.
As I said, recovery began with my family. And it's fitting and meaningful that on this 26th birthday celebration, I was privileged to spend it with my family in the mountains. The same cast of characters were there with a few new faces. My dear wife was there--a woman I thought would never be by my side. And there were two choice children--a son and daughter, both more wonderful than I could explain--wonderful souls who I thought could never be part of this wreckage that was once my life--indeed more precious than I would ever deserve.
In the midst of the fun and good times to be had in the hills, I took the opportunity to retreat to what a good friend calls, "God's country" to find a secluded spot for prayer and pondering. This prayer was considerably different from the desperate plea 26 years ago. It was a special feeling of immense gratitude for another chance at life and another chance at love.
And the return to camp was like coming home, but it felt different too. This time, instead of merely knowing in my head, I could feel love and it goes both ways culminating in a sublime appreciation of being part of an incredible family that few people ever get to experience.
So, like the song, "in remembrance of His grace, unite in sweetest songs of praise" for the gift of sobriety.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)