Sunday, May 28, 2017

King Benjamin Teaches Step Eleven

Now I come to my favorite step--Step Eleven. This is such a wonderful step. I hope I can do it justice. I dare say, having a conscious contact with God has been the greatest blessing of recovery for me. In speaking of a conscious contact with Deity, I include God's grace and my ever-increasing awareness of how He is in the details of our lives. I dare make such a bold statement because the principles behind Step Eleven are the source of the greatest blessings I have experienced in recovery.

AA Step Eleven: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out."

LDS Guide to Addiction Recovery Step Eleven: "Seek through prayer and meditation to know the Lord’s will and to have the power to carry it out."

LDS Guide to Addiction Recovery Key Principle for Step Eleven: Personal Revelation

King Benjamin Elaborates Step Eleven

Because this step gets expanded a bit in King Benjamin's speech, I'm taking a slightly different approach for this step. Like all Twelve Steps, this one is fully explained and expanded in Mosiah chapter 4. I want to look at each component of the step using the AA version as the pattern.

"Seek through prayer . . ." King Benjamin said, "Humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily" (Mosiah 4:11). This is a step we need to work on a daily basis making personal prayer an integral part of recovery.

"Improve our conscious contact with God" "And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true" (Mosiah 4:12).

Our knowledge of God's glory and grace, and our entire relationship with Him will improve (or grow) as this step suggests. Our "conscious contact" with God comes through the Holy Ghost, and as the Apostle Paul explained, love, joy, and peace are fruits of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22).

"As we understood Him" The LDS version of the step omits this phrase since we understand that our relationship is with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. AA uses the concept of a "Higher Power" out of respect for universal belief. However, I think there is a spiritual basis for this phrase. Our relationship with God is enhanced by our understanding of Him and His attributes. King Benjamin said, "I say unto you, if ye have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and his matchless power, and his wisdom, and his patience, and his long-suffering towards the children of men; and also, the atonement which has been prepared from the foundation of the world . . . (Mosiah 4:6). Benjamin lists the attributes of goodness, power, wisdom, patience, and long-suffering. These are important for us as addicts to understand. These are the attributes the Lord is eager to have us attain so we can become like Him.

When I first came into Twelve Step recovery, my concept of God had been severely damaged. I thought of a strict, vengeful God, ready to zap me for all my sins and transgressions. In the introduction to the LDS Guide it states, "We invite you with all our empathy and love to join us in a glorious life of freedom and safety, encircled in the arms of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer." It is comforting to know that because the Lord is good, wise, and patient, He is able and willing to help us through recovery, and that we can be "encircled" in His loving arms of safety. 

"Praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out" President Gordon B. Hinckley has observed that many of us say our prayers like we're ordering groceries. We make a list of things we want and hang up. In true recovery we surrender our will and lives to God, according to Step Three. This leaves little room for self-interest. Instead we are seeking to know God's will for us and to have the power to carry it out. Thus, we are really only praying for two things--knowledge and power.

The scriptures contain many examples of this knowledge and power combination, but there are only a few places we can go to obtain this combination. In Mosiah 4 this combination is listed at least three times. Verse 6 begins, "If ye have come to a knowledge of the goodness of God, and his matchless power . . ." Verses 11 and 12 both have the phrase "knowledge of the glory of (God)." 

This combination of knowledge and glory (or power) comes together in the vision of Moses, as he says, "But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, for my natural eyes could not have beheld; for I should have withered and died in his presence; but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him" (Moses 1:11). Moses was able to obtain knowledge otherwise not obtainable except that he is transfigured, or empowered before God to be able to stand in His presence. That's "conscious contact" perfected.

Joseph Smith went into a grove of trees seeking knowledge of which church to join (see Joseph Smith--History 1:10,12,18), but the Lord lets him know that the "power of godliness" is not to be found on the earth.

One of the things I appreciate about Alcoholics Anonymous is that it does not overstep its bounds. AA's singleness of purpose is to help the alcoholic who still suffers and to help its members achieve sobriety. AA does not promise to get you to heaven or to grant exaltation. Perfection of Step Eleven is beyond the scope of Alcoholics Anonymous and is vested in the ordinances of the Melchizedek Priesthood.

Look at these verses with the knowledge/power combination:

"And this greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God.

"Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.

"And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh;

"For without this no man can see the face of God, even the Father, and live" (Doctrine and Covenants 84:19-22).

In the House of the Lord I was given the personal revelation necessary to find my sweetheart. In the House of the Lord we were sealed together for time and all eternity. Through the ordinances of the House of the Lord, our children were born in the covenant allowing the Holy Spirit of Promise to seal or ratify those ordinances based on worthiness. 

Yes, I can say Step Eleven has brought the best blessings into my life!

The temple takes "conscious contact with God" to a new level.


Sunday, May 21, 2017

King Benjamin Teaches Step Ten

Sometimes Steps Ten through Twelve are called "maintenance steps." Steps One through Nine are similar to repentance steps, and now we are trying to maintain sobriety. I would rather think of Steps Ten through Twelve as growth steps.

AA Step Ten: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

LDS Addiction Recovery Step Ten: "Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are wrong promptly admit it."

LDS Addiction Recovery Key Principle for Step Ten: Daily Accountability

King Benjamin: "But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not" (Mosiah 4:30).


For me, one of the main reasons for the success of Alcoholics Anonymous is the principle of once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states, "We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones" (Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 3). In a later chapter it states, "It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities" (Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 6).

Daily accountability keeps us on track. We can make smaller course corrections before it's too late--before our newfound sobriety is in jeopardy. King Benjamin's wording is consistent with the Step. We must "continue" taking inventory of ourselves and "continue in the faith." King Benjamin gives us three areas to watch--our thoughts, words, and deeds. Many addicts in recovery will do a sort of mini inventory at night before retiring for the day. It's a good time to reflect on the things that went well, to express gratitude for the many blessings God has given us, and to look for improvement. The sacrament is another opportunity to take inventory and contemplate areas that could use correction.

As I have expressed with many of these steps, my early days found me thinking I would only have to work each step once and be done and graduate from the program. Twenty-seven years later, I'm still trying to work the steps. I will share one personal experience.

One cold January morning I went outside to our garage. I can't remember what for; probably to get the snow shovel. Sitting in the garage next to our car was what my sweetheart would term a fine piece of antique furniture. I believe it was supposed to be a desk. I did not share the same opinion. I thought to myself, that has to be the ugliest piece of furniture I have ever seen. I wondered what it was doing in our garage and why I didn't know about this. I marched into the house and asked what this blankety blank thing was, and was informed that she received this from her sister and it was going upstairs in one of the bedrooms. 

I just got madder as I thought about this. How dare she bring something like this into our house? And especially without asking me. I should have heeded the Big Book which says resentments are like poison to the alcoholic. But I didn't. Instead I went into insanity mode and my mind raced and jumped to conclusions. As I looked at this piece of antiquity, I wondered if I would be able to get my lawnmower out of the garage since it appeared to be blocking the way. Despite the freezing temperature, and snow on the ground, and despite the fact that it would be at least three months before I would need to use the lawnmower, I decided to attempt the feat of moving the mower. Just as my brilliant observation supposed, the mower got stuck and it was probably one inch shy of clearance.

Now I was really frustrated. I was wearing some winter boots and so I went over and gently tried to push the desk with my foot to slide it over just a bit. It wouldn't budge. Now this is where it gets into a point of disagreement with my wife (who wasn't there). She says I kicked the desk. I say I just pushed it more firmly with my foot. Whatever the case, I then noticed a small crack in one of the drawers where I tried to push it with my foot. Okay, I kicked it.

Knowing I was in trouble now, I walked back into the house and informed my dear wife that as I gently tried to move her fine piece of furniture, I accidentally cracked one of the drawers. Her immediate response was, "You need an AA meeting." I humbly followed her advice and provided entertainment at the Lunch Bunch Meeting for all my addict friends.

But at least I didn't have to get drunk over it!

By the way, this "beautiful desk" is still in the bedroom. She won. But I get to stay married and sober.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

King Benjamin Teaches Step Nine

In Step Eight we became willing to make amends to all persons we had harmed. Now again in Step Nine the rubber meets the road as we begin to make restitution and offer sincere apologies for the wreckage of the past.

AA Step Nine: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

LDS Addiction Recovery Step Nine: "Wherever possible, make direct restitution to all persons you have harmed."

LDS Step Nine Key Principle: Restitution and Reconciliation

King Benjamin: "And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render to every man according to that which is his due" (Mosiah 4:13).

The first part of this verse in Mosiah is about Step Eight. Because we do not want to harm others, and realizing our actions in the past caused great harm, we become willing to make amends. The last part of this verse is about the actual process of making restitution where possible. Since the first part of the verse is about avoiding injury to others, of necessity, the last part about rendering to every man (or woman) according to that which is his due, must deal with settling the score. We need to offer apologies, make restitution, and become reconciled if it's due. If we owe someone an apology, we render according to his or her due.

Not much later in the Book of Mormon we see an actual Step Nine in action as Alma the younger and the sons of Mosiah went about "zealously striving to repair all the injuries which they had done to the church" (Mosiah 27:35).

In my early recovery I considered Step Nine to be the most challenging for me. It was especially hard to make apologies to those closest to me, like my parents. There were many broken promises and insincere apologies from the past, and these haunted me. I kept waiting until I had enough sobriety to back up my apologies. But as time went on, it just became harder.

I mentioned adding BYU to my list to make amends. I had had conversations on the bus with a man who became a good friend. After I discovered he worked in the Honor Code Office the Spirit kept nagging me to go work a Step Nine with the university.

One morning on the bus I asked if I could meet with him. He invited me to meet with him in his office. I confessed that while I was a student there I had violated the Honor Code almost daily with my drinking. Part of the Honor Code was an agreement to abide by the Word of Wisdom. Of course my friend was a professional counselor. He said, "Do you feel like you need to make restitution?" Without thinking, the words popped out of my mouth, "I do." I immediately wondered what I had gotten myself into. I thought he might give me a service project on campus, like picking up litter or something. Instead he said if I would stay active in Twelve Step recovery and try to carry the message and help other addicts, that on behalf of the university he was authorized to wipe the slate clean. I would be forgiven by the university.

Later he actually referred students to me who were grasped by the clutches of addiction and alcoholism. When I was a student there, I thought I was the only alcoholic on campus. By attempting to work Step Nine I was also working Step Twelve as I tried to carry the message to others.

Thus, it was like killing two birds with one stone.

Steps Five and Nine are very difficult. It's not easy to confess and it's not easy to make amends. But the reward is a burden of guilt lifted off one's shoulders. I testify it is very liberating. It heals and cleanses the soul. I also testify of the Lord's grace in working all these steps. Doors are opened and opportunities are presented allowing us to do what we are not able by ourselves.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

King Benjamin Teaches Step Eight

While several of the preceding steps deal with our relationship with God, Steps Eight and Nine deal with our interactions with others. Again there is the willingness step ahead of the action step. The willingness is expressed as part of the step.

AA Step Eight: "Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."

LDS Addiction Recovery Step Eight: "Make a written list of all persons you have harmed and become willing to make restitution to them."

LDS Addiction Recovery Step Eight Principle: Seeking Forgiveness

King Benjamin: "And ye will not have a mind to injure one another, but to live peaceably, and to render to every man according to that which is his due" (Mosiah 4:13).


The effect of the steps is a changed heart. I want to emphasize that this happens for most of us very gradually over time. After King Benjamin has taught his people in depth concerning the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the plan of salvation, and quite arguably the Twelve Steps, we immediately see the result in the next chapter. The verse states, "And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2). The people also gained an appreciation for "the infinite goodness of God" and had "great views" of the future (see Mosiah 5:3). In AA we would say the people had a new pair of glasses.

Because of this change of heart we lose the desire to cause any harm to another of God's Creation. This is in stark contrast to the selfishness that fueled addiction and the concern we had for only ourselves. In our practicing years of addiction we caused extreme damage and much "wreckage." The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous points out that the newcomer is the lifeblood of the program. We welcome newcomers and can always relate because their stories haven't changed over the years. They sound just like we did when we came into the program. I have been attending Twelve Step meetings for 27 years now and have never heard one addict come into the program and say, "I'm just living the dream. I always wanted to become an alcoholic. Couldn't be better." No, they relate stories of broken marriages, broken homes, broken relationships, lost jobs, jail, etc. etc. This is good for us old-timers to hear, because if I'm ever tempted to go back out and give it one more try, I am reminded that it still isn't any better out there. There's an old AA adage that says, "Alcoholics don't have relationships, they just take hostages." How true!

Now in Steps Eight and Nine we get to attempt to seek forgiveness and clean up our "wreckage of the past." As King Benjamin taught, we will not have a "mind to injure" and so we begin to make a list of those we have harmed and make peace with those we injured in the past.

As we do this we become overwhelmed at the thought of making restitution, which in many cases is not even possible. How will I find all these people? What if they reject my attempt to be reconciled? And how can I fix the damage already done? The answer to all these questions is the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We really can't heal, and often we really can't restore something we have taken away (like someone's virtue). But the Savior can.

These steps are ongoing. Maybe they're eternal. My list has grown over the years, so it's likely to have additions in the future. And I was, and am still, so naive about working these steps. I thought once I made the list and made amends I would be done, but sadly this is not the case since I continue to injure others in sobriety, sometimes unintentionally. Like King Benjamin teaches, it's the attitude that's important. We won't "have a mind to injure" others even though injuries happen.

I will give one personal example. Many years into recovery I rode the bus with many of the students and faculty of BYU. They would always get off the bus on campus. Many of the people I talked to were BYU professors. One day I asked a particular man what he did on campus, expecting him to be a professor of something. He informed me that he worked in the Honor Code office. I remembered that BYU had an honor code involving dress and grooming standards and standards of behavior regarding moral conduct and the Word of Wisdom. As I thought about this, I realized I had violated the Honor Code almost every day as a student, due to my drinking.

The Spirit just kept eating away at me and reminding me every time I saw him how I had basically lied to the university and broken my promise. They were still good enough to give me a diploma. These steps are not always easy. I finally added the institution of Brigham Young University to my Step Eight list.

I will tell you the outcome of this experience next week in Step Nine. Some of my Twelve Step buddies know how much I love Step Nine (ha ha--NOT).





Sunday, April 30, 2017

King Benjamin Teaches Step Seven

Step Six was the willingness step. Now it's the action step of seven. But just like none of us ever got sober by ourselves, this is another step in trusting God.

AA Step Seven: "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

LDS Addiction Recovery Guide: "Humbly ask Heavenly Father to remove your shortcomings."

King Benjamin: "And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them." (Mosiah 4:10).

The phrase, "humble yourselves before God; and ask," could not be any closer to the AA Step without infringing on copyright laws. However, we must remember that any lawsuits levied here would come upon Alcoholics Anonymous and not the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The Book of Mormon was published just over 100 years earlier than the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous, which, like the Book of Mormon, needed additional witnesses to verify its truthfulness. The Book of Mormon needed its three and eight witnesses to testify, and AA was founded on the sobriety date of its second member, Dr. Bob Smith on June 10, 1935. Thus, there had to be at least two to testify. And of course, this speech was actually delivered by King Benjamin over 2,100 years ago.

Since this step aligns so perfectly with King Benjamin's teachings and Restoration scripture, perhaps this would be a good time to mention just a couple of similarities between AA and the restored Church of Jesus Christ. 

I feel blessed to belong to two of perhaps just a handful of organizations that believe in personal revelation and divine personal guidance directly from God. I will need to cover this in greater detail in Step Eleven, which speaks of a "conscious contact with God." In a gospel setting, we call this personal revelation.

The New York-Ohio Connection

In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and in other places, AA founder Bill W. refers to his personal "Higher Power" as "the Father of Lights." He was admitted into Towns Hospital in New York City, where he had a profound spiritual experience that would change his life and the lives of countless drunks like me. Francis Hartigan observed, "While under treatment at Towns Hospital, Bill Wilson experiences a flash of white light and an overwhelming sense of well-being that frees him from his alcoholism." (see https://stepstudy.org/1934-bill-wilsons-hot-flash/).

In the spring of 1820 Joseph Smith went into a grove of trees in upstate New York and saw two Personages in a pillar of light. Joseph describes, "I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. . .One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!" (Joseph Smith--History 1:16-17).

The parallel of both of them being delivered from an enemy, and both seeing a bright, white light is striking.

Later, Joseph and the early saints would travel to Ohio upon receiving revelation from the Lord and there would be established the new headquarters for the Church. Bill Wilson, a New York stockbroker, would travel on a business trip to Akron, Ohio. The trip challenged his newfound sobriety. He went to a payphone and called various clergymen in hopes of finding another drunk to talk to. He realized this was his only chance at staying sober. He found a washed up surgeon by the name of Bob Smith (same last name of Joseph in case you missed it). We call him Dr. Bob, who reluctantly said he would give Bill W. fifteen minutes of his time. The conversation lasted six hours.

There is an old church in Akron, Ohio where there is a sort of visitors center. AA meetings are held there around the clock--24/7.


The Steps Are Simple But Not Easy

I remember that first week of AA meetings and eyeing the steps. I said to myself, "Let's see, I'll be on that step by next Thursday, and I'll just go ahead and say that prayer and be done with it." It may be a simple request, but it's not that easy. This is a tough step. 

Knowing I would be writing about this step, I decided to really try to work it this past week. I thought about how long it's been since I sincerely tried a Step Seven prayer. So on Monday I asked Heavenly Father to remove my shortcomings, hoping for drastic results within the week so I could share some profound spiritual experience. I kinda forgot that impatience ranks about third on my Step Four list of character defects. So if He were to grant my request immediately, as I wished, there would still be left at least one glaring defect. I can sum up 27 years of trying to work this step with something a good friend shared many years ago at an AA meeting. I will call him "John" to protect his anonymity. At this time he had close to fifteen years of continuous sobriety. John had a wife and a daughter. He said something like, "Fifteen years ago I could think of no one but myself. I had to look out for John. But after fifteen years of working the steps and spiritual progress, I can now stop and think about my wife or my daughter for maybe three or four minutes. Then I have to start thinking about John again." Like chapter five in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states, "We believe in spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection."

Sunday, April 23, 2017

King Benjamin Teaches Step Six

One step leads into the next, and in Mosiah 4 verse 2, the sequence continues. Step Four's moral inventory reveals both character strengths and weaknesses. The discovery of those root character defects brings us to the confessions of Step Five, and the realization of our true character sparks a desire for a change of heart.

AA Step Six: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character."

LDS Guide to Addiction Recovery Step Six: "Become entirely ready to have God remove all your character weaknesses."

LDS Key Principle for Step Six: Change of heart.

King Benjamin: "And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men" (Mosiah 4:2).

"And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them" (Mosiah 4:10).

I remember that first week of AA meetings as I browsed through the steps, wondering how long it would take me to graduate from this program. My first estimate was maybe a week to cruise through these Twelve Steps. But when it came time to work Step Six, it stood before me like an insurmountable brick wall. Twenty-seven years later, I'm still begging God to please remove those character defects. And sadly, sometimes when He does, I simply take back my own will.

The bad news was that I would have to surrender all my character defects and pet sins, some of which I had learned to conveniently rely on, while others I just plain liked and didn't want to give up. The good news is that it isn't up to me. It's not my job to change my heart. That's a job only the Savior can perform.

Fortunately for King Benjamin's subjects, and for us, there was a pre-written speech delivered by a heavenly messenger in the preceding chapter, and this sublime message is centered on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Remember that in Step Five we admitted "the exact nature of our wrongs." And therein lies the problem. It is housed in our nature, and the enemy is the "natural man." 

An oft-quoted verse from King Benjamin's speech reads,

"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father" (Mosiah 3:19).

This verse tells us how long we will be stuck on Step Six if we try to work it the wrong way. If I try to do this alone, based on my own merits, I will be stuck on this step "forever and ever." But if I "let go and let God" and get out of the way, and let my Savior heal me, then He can do miracles. I know because I have seen them happen in my life and in the lives of many others. It's one of the great blessings of recovery.

Today has been a surreal day. My wonderful daughter is a missionary serving in the Canada Edmonton Mission. Exactly ten days ago, her first companion and trainer returned home to our own ward after completing a successful mission. I know--what are the odds of getting your first companion and trainer from your own home ward with over 71,000 missionaries? It's just another of those tender mercies of the Lord, and another witness of how He is in the details of our lives. Today she gave her report on her mission. One of the many profound things she said was how some say a mission can change one's life. But she prefers to think of this as an opportunity for the Savior to change a life. Indeed, only He can change a heart.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

King Benjamin Teaches Step Five

A wise man who used to attend AA meetings with me once shared how his sponsor taught him to work the steps in order. His sponsor said to him, "And for dummies like you, they're numbered." I can't overstate the value of sponsorship. I heard some say, "If you are having problems working a step, then go back and rework the one before it." The steps become a spiritual progression. One step builds upon another. There is usually a willingness step before the action step.

Steps Four and Five are related so it's not surprising to see them spoken of in the same verse in Mosiah chapter 4. Here are the variations of this step:

AA Step Five: "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

LDS Addiction Recovery Guide: "Admit to yourself, to your Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ, to proper priesthood authority, and to another person the exact nature of your wrongs."

King Benjamin: "And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men" (Mosiah 4:2).

After the people had worked Step Four by taking their own personal, moral inventory, expressed in the Book of Mormon as "they had viewed themselves," they made an open, verbal confession aloud in the presence of God, each other, and their king. As the LDS Guide suggests, they make this confession in the name of Jesus Christ, and in the next chapter they will take His name upon themselves in a covenant relationship. King Benjamin gathers the people together as kings did anciently during the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot) as their king and priesthood leader. King Mosiah, who will be Benjamin's successor, will later give priesthood keys to Alma to establish churches (or wards and branches of the Church) throughout the land. The text says, "And it came to pass that king Mosiah granted unto Alma that he might establish churches throughout all the land of Zarahemla; and gave him power to ordain priests and teachers over every church" (Mosiah 25:19). So it's significant that this confession is made in the presence of their priesthood leader as well.

They had learned much about how to take this step from Step Four, as their inventory revealed the "exact nature" of their character defects. Their "living problem" (not drinking problem) was a result of their "carnal state" stemming back to the Fall, "the cause of all mankind becoming carnal, sensual, devilish" (Mosiah 16:3). And these people realize their only shot at recovery will come from the Atonement of Jesus Christ, allowing their hearts to be changed. With a changed heart, recovery becomes joyous, happy, and fulfilling, while just changing the behavior results in just another "dry drunk." They identify their Higher Power as Jesus Christ, and these people know and understand that their faith will activate His grace.

Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the guidance of these steps, the people will come away with an eternal vision, and "through the infinite goodness of God, and the manifestations of his Spirit," they will have "great views" of their own potential and that of their brothers and sisters in the gospel (see Mosiah 5:3).

I remember working Steps Four and Five for the first time. Several months of sobriety had only given me tunnel vision. I was so focused on just staying sober that I could hardly see anything else in my future life. One day my bishop called me into his office. He had a list of endowed members of his ward who did not hold temple recommends. He had seen my name on that list for years, and as he regularly prayed about it, he felt through the Spirit that the timing was not right. But on this day, he prayed and received a prompting that the time had come for me to start working on returning to the temple. As he shared this experience with me and challenged me to return to the temple, I responded, "Well bishop, I think that's impossible. I'm an alcoholic." I really expected him to say, "Oh well, in that case, thanks for your time," and then excuse me from his office. But he didn't do that. Instead, he laid out a plan for me to get temple blessings back into my life and gave me a timetable for all of this.

I will always be grateful for the help of sponsors and bishops in working this step. Future inventories revealed other character defects and addictions, and I had this experience several times of going back to the bishop. Each time, my bishop gave me plans and goals to help me overcome addictions and other problems. Being able to receive the blessings of the temple has blessed my life in so many ways.

On this Easter Day I wish to express praise and gratitude for all the tender mercies of our Savior Jesus Christ, as I know that "but for the grace of God, there go I." I know on that first Easter weekend, in an olive garden and on a cross, He purchased recovery for me and countless others at a staggering price.